Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet G. Woititz

Author:Janet G. Woititz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: adult;child;children;alcoholics;self-inspiration;self;Janet Geringer Woititz
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
Published: 2016-04-25T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 4

What About Your Children?

Children of alcoholics and children of children of alcoholics are no more or no less harmed emotionally than children living in any other kind of stressful situation. Alcoholism cannot claim exclusive rights to distressed children. The guilt that you carry because of your inability to provide an ideal home environment regardless of the circumstances will not do you a bit of good. It will not do your children a bit of good either. All it will do is take energy away from the things you could be doing to change the situation.

Much of the pain suffered by your children is reversible. Not only that, but with your help, your children can be stronger and have greater self-esteem because of their experiences. Yes, I mean that. Negatives can be turned into positives. It is all in knowing how. It has been my experience in counseling your children that improvement is immediate and dramatic. More often than not, enlisting your help is of great benefit in turning your child around. You are a significant person in your child’s life and can be a strong force for well-being. There are many things that you can do that will enhance a sense of self-worth in your children.

WHAT ABOUT MY KIDS?

The following are some guidelines that will be useful to you in helping to break the cycle of problems caused by alcoholism in the next generation. There are ten very simple points.

Since many of you developed alcoholism yourselves and many of you have married alcoholics, there is a good chance that your children are living in an active situation. The guidelines are developed with this in mind. If you are fortunate enough not to have become alcoholic yourself and are not living with alcoholism again, the guidelines will still be helpful. They can be adapted to any situation.

1. Work on yourself and your own personal growth.

Children learn through imitation. Be the kind of person you want your children to imitate. You are a role model—like it or not. You set the example. If you are upset and confused, your children will be upset and confused. If you are irritable, your children will be irritable. Your children became fearful and guilty and obsessed with alcohol, just as you did. Just as you can set a negative tone in the house, you can set a positive one. If you have a smile on your face, your children will smile. One can feel tension in the air. Not a word has to be spoken, but everybody feels it. If you can work on relaxing, the mood in your home will be more relaxed. It is a place to begin.

2. Listen to your children.

Sit down with them and hear what they have to say— regardless of what it is. Let them know that you are interested and that they have your attention. Because you listen does not mean you agree. It just means that you are willing to listen. Work on accepting their right to be

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